The Value of Nothing

KOTTOK Chapters 1 - 7

I believe in communicating via sketches or paintings

Chapter 1

I saw the leak when I stopped for lunch at my favorite Greek place but before I could react the beautiful brunette girl wearing a red beret who was sitting in the booth across from me had slid out of her seat and was now sitting in my lap.

I had prior experience with leaks so I took full advantage of the moment and kissed her full on the lips. I knew she was an illusion but who cares, illusions are often far better than reality.We kissed for awhile and then we did some more fun stuff. You'll have to use your imagination - which is the whole point by the way.

After a few short hours I came back to my senses and remembered the leak. I hastily drew a quick sketch on a napkin and left it as a memento for the wearer of the red beret. I believe in communicating via sketches or paintings or the equivalent. All children should spend at least as much time learning to draw as they spend learning to read and write. Every day you should draw a picture with your child. Paintings are far better than reality. A picture is worth a thousand words. Have you ever played the drawing game Pictionary? If so, then you know how ridiculously inept most people are at drawing. Do you really want your child to go through life being laughed at when playing Pictionary? Get a clue!

I moved over to the wall paper depiction of Lindos on the Isle of Rhodes and carefully put a foot through the area where I detected the leak.My foot tore through the wall paper and I squeezed my body through. Then I was floating, whether it was for a second or for an eternity, I do not remember.Time is a just another color created by your brain and just one of the many items on its palette that it uses to create the illusion of what most of us call reality.Of course there is no such thing as reality but as far as I know there is no word for "the reality that is not really reality." So I get to make up a new word for it and of course a new painting to depict the new word. Wait for it.... The new word shall be KOTTOK.

Anyway, my stomach grumbled and I remembered I hadn't eaten my Gyro salad with a large side order of baba ghanouj. Curse my luck! I'm not crazy about reality but its the only place to get a decent meal. Always eat before you leap through a leak. Now I had a choice to make, should I stay with my leak or should I go back for my tasty Greek lunch? "I want my leak and I want to eat my lunch too!"

KOTTOK - the reality that is not really reality

KOTTOK - Chapter 2

I remembered I had been to Lindos before and had had lunch there. So I crossed my fingers and decided to stay with my new found leak. I found myself in Lindos and quickly located the Greek eating joint. It had only two tables which were inside because there was no space in the narrow alley outside. The joint had no electricity and the only light came from the doorway where the door was propped open. Even in daytime it was like being in cave. They used a wood burning oven to cook the bread and charcoal to cook the meat. Now this meat is not USDA inspected, it looked suspiciously like dog. But being a world traveler and famished I tore into the leg of dog and chased it down with copious amounts of pita bread. For desert I had feta cheese and olives. I didn't linger but rather exited through the doorway to seek sunshine and some fresh air.

Lindos' streets are too narrow for cars so they use donkeys for taxis. Not being a fan of donkey taxis I declined the numerous solicitations and proceeded to stroll leisurely in search of coffee. I happened to see Jacqueline Bisset (when she was in her prime) seated at an outdoor cafe so I sat down beside her and smiled my best KOTTOK smile. After coffee she invited me snorkeling and we headed off to her cottage by the sea. She told me she was going to slip out of her dress and into her snorkeling outfit. Well she slipped out of her dress but evidently she couldn't find her snorkeling outfit. We decided that perhaps we would practice snorkeling in bed before hitting the water.

Later, on her boat, I stood at the stern and watched KOTTOK sink into the distance behind us. Distance is another color used by your brain to paint with. As we all know distance does not exist, everything is simultaneously everywhere. Actually everything is nothing, so nothing is simultaneously nowhere. Again, our language fails us as we have no word for "everything that is nothing." Oh goodie I get to invent another word. It shall be.... KEDDEK! People know the price of everything yet they don't know the value of nothing.

As I was looking backwards I didn't see the wake broadside Jacqueline's boat so I found myself falling overboard before I could yell for help. This time I was floating downwards and I was suddenly very, very thirsty for a glass of water.

KEDDEK - The Value of Nothing

KOTTOK Chapter 3

I reached out my hand and felt Plexiglas which happened to be one wall of a prison cell in which I found myself with 54 other prisoners. The cell had Plexiglas instead of steel bars so that the guard could see us but didn't have to listen to us and our vulgarities and shout outs of protest. It turns out that in 100 years U.S. prisons will be considered to be the moral equivalent of Nazi Concentration Camps when inevitably history was rewritten. There were 18 bunk beds and each bunk bed had three beds with about 24" apart in height. There was no free space other than a two foot walkway between bunks. You could either stand up next to your bunk or lie down on your bunk. There was nothing else, no chairs, no tables, nothing.

There was no privacy, at one end of the room there were two open toilets, two sinks, and one shower with two heads. Each prisoner was given one small towel but these had to be used to clean the toilets, floors, etc. There was a black market for toilet paper. No one was allowed in the cell except prisoners, guards never entered the cell, and the prisoners had to clean the cell as best they could without cleaning supplies. When the toilets broke which they did on a daily basis you were literally up shit creek without a paddle.

I was no longer enjoying my leak. I decided it was time to go back to my KOTTOK home. I pressed the intercom, after about 15 minutes the guard responded. I said I'd like to talk to my court appointed attorney. The guard informed me that the attorney was about an hour away but he'd leave him a message. My fellow cell mates informed me it was about a three week wait to talk to your attorney and it was a waste of time besides. The court appointed attorney always told you to take the plea bargain and would never go to trial whether you were innocent or not. The only way to go to trial was to fire your attorney and represent yourself. The attorney had no obligation to follow your wishes, he only had to do what he thought was best and taking the plea bargain was always the best.

At two in the morning the voice on the intercom told us to strip naked and walk outdoors to the pen. Waiting for us were 24 German Shepards in training. For two hours we stood naked in the cold while the dogs took turns sniffing us and standing at attention making sure we did not move. "Do not move your hand unless you want it bitten off. I thought maybe this is my social responsibility leak and I am doing my bit for the benefit of society by training all these German Shepards. Again, I don't remember if I was in prison for a second or for an eternity. KILLIK.

The next day I was told to pack up my stuff (which consisted of a blanket) and told to report to the bus holding cell. I waited for four hours then they chained my hands and feet and chained me to another prisoner. Have you ever tried to board a school bus while chained to another person? As my hands were chained to my waist I could not hold onto anything and the first time we went around a corner at full speed I slid off the hard plastic seat and my chainee landed on me smashing his skull into mine. Again I found myself floating. KOTTOK. Then I blacked out.

KILLIK - The illusion of time

KOTTOK Chapter 4

I awoke to find myself in another Plexiglass holding cell with about 50 other detainees. At least they had removed my chains. But then they took me out, put me in chains again, and marched me over to the court house. I sat in another holding cell for two hours then they let my attorney in to talk to me. He said "be quiet and listen. This is the plea deal, you need to accept this."

I told my attorney that I wanted to represent myself and go to trial. "Great!" he exclaimed, rubbing his hands together and thinking how easily he was going to put my case in his out basket.

They gave me access to the law library for two hours a day from 6:00 am to 8:00 am. I worked for two months preparing my 100 page brief. I documented every pertinent case. I felt really proud of my work, I thought it was perhaps my best writing ever. The District Attorney submitted a one paragraph, less than one page response with no citations. "Defendant is unhappy with what he considers to be deplorable prison conditions."

After two months they brought me before the Judge for the hearing. They chained me to the table. The Judge wouldn't let me speak. She said, you should do what your court appointed attorney tells you to do and be quiet. Then she got up and walked out of the courtroom. I tried to shout after her but the guards came over and dragged me out of the court room in chains. Sitting in the court room was my ex and several so called friends. They all snickered. I was starting to get leaked out. How can KOTTOK be so miserable I pondered?

When I got back to my cell I found a package wrapped in paper. Inside were candy bars which a kind soul had sent me. I swore I would leave my inheritance to that soul. Of course we know there is nothing good or bad, thinking only makes it so. Only you can make yourself miserable, it's all in your head. What is the word for the misery we feel that doesn't really exist because thinking only makes it so? Then I realized that every one thought I was delusional. Do you think I am delusional?

I laid down on my bunk with no mattress and no pillow and pulled the lonely blanket over my head. I drifted off wondering where I could find a leak in this most excellent institution.

Looking for a Leak

KOTTOK Chapter 5

In U.S. prisons the only writing instrument allowed is a golf pencil, a three inch pencil stub with a No.2 lead. As I lay in my bunk I couldn't help but notice all of the graffiti. Then the light went on in my head. I started to draw with my No. 2 pencil. I made several sketches.

Of course you're not allowed to draw on the walls, but I did. What is the word for doing something you're not allowed to do? Oh yeah - CRIME. I realized CRIME is a leak. I embraced my criminal element. I decided to draw a mural but the logistics had to be carefully planned. The walls are only inspected once a week so I had seven days to draw a mural. I thought about "Where The Wild Things Are." So I drew night and day.

My cell mates were pissed at me, they said I was going to get them all in trouble. So I had to fight every day. I began to love the fighting. My blood was boiling. I marveled at another person pissing them self at the thought of facing off against me. I had learned that whoever gets in the first good blow almost always wins. It seems like hours but it is usually less than a minute. So every day I fought and every day I drew. Time slipped away. I had found a time leak - KILLIK.

Finally my mural was as good as I could do in seven days - did God make the world in seven days? What is the name for the God who does not exist? KATTAK!

I went over to the wall and ran my hand across the cinder blocks. There must be a leak here somewhere! But alas, my hands began to bleed from brushing the concrete, I could find no leak. I screamed. I screamed the scream that no one can hear. KUKKUK. No one can hear you scream in prison. That is why we have prisons, so we don't have to listen to the prisoners scream. I screamed KUKKUK in color. When I screamed in color my pencil mural leaked into this color mural.

KUKKUK - The Scream That No One Can Hear

KOTTOK Chapter 6

On Sunday the guards sent us to the outdoors pen so the guards could inspect the cells. They were not happy with my mural.The guards came out to the pen and demanded to know who disfigured the wall? In Prison no one rats out a cell mate except upon pain of death. I knew they would all be punished if I did not speak up. I was proud of my work. I didn't really care if they put me in solitary or not.

I stepped forward. Fours guards grabbed me and shuttled me out of the pen and over to solitary confinement. They never raised their voices but they cursed me from here to Kingdom Come. They told me to remove all of my clothes. They searched all of my body cavities. They took away my clothes, handed me one wool blanket and slammed the cell door shut.

There was nothing in the room except for a hole in the floor which was to used for the toilet. Four cinder block walls and a steel door with a slide they used to feed me. I slept on the concrete floor.

I don't remember if I was in solitary three weeks or an eternity. KILLIK. This time I had no plexiglass and I had to listen to the others scream 24 hours a day. They screamed until they literally passed out.Three times every 24 hours they shoved a Styrofoam box through my door which held a quart of beans, two pieces of plain white bread, two oreo cookies, and a cup of water. I had five minutes to return the plate and cup or they would come in and take it. No utensils of course, you ate with your fingers. If I was good, I was allowed a five minute shower once a week. I had to shower in chains. There was no window, no night or day, time ceased to exist. KILLIK. I didn't care. My brain had started to leak. I entered my leaking brain and disappeared. I no longer existed. I was everywhere and nowhere. I laughed and swapped jokes with KATTAK.

KATTAK - The God That Does Not Exist

KOTTOK Chapter 7

In prison everyone has a tattoo. Guards love tattoos, there is never a case of mistaken identity. A large part of each day is spent by prisoners giving each other tattoos. Except me, I never got a tattoo.

In the end, I think that is why they threw me out of prison. I would not conform. And I wrote and wrote and wrote with my 3 inch golf pencil. I wrote to the courts, I wrote to the ACLU. The courts appointed me an alternative public defender. The ACLU came to visit me and interviewed me and took copies of my reports.I had turned into a leak in the prison system and no one was happy about it. Prison guards have the strongest unions in the country. The more prisoners you have, the more money you get from the Federal Government. Prisons are now for profit corporations. Prison's have made slavery lucrative again.

One day they sent me to a teleconferencing room. My new alternative attorney soon appeared on the screen. He said I was to be released by midnight by order of the Judge. Even though I was still waiting for trial, I had spent more time in prison than I would have if I were convicted. Because of over crowding for every day served you earned three days towards your sentence. So I never had my day court.

They dumped me out in the street at 2 am with no money, no nothing except the clothes on my back. Fortunately there was a 24 hour taco stand that I remembered. I said, I just got out of detention, I'll wash dished for a meal. In the end I had to clean the toilets - deja vu.

I ate and fell asleep at the table. I went to KOTTOK. I felt like I was dreaming. Someone was caressing my face. I opened one eye. It was a girl wearing a Raspberry beret. She climbed into my lap. I knew about leaks. I kissed her full on the lips. I paused. I laughed. I sketched her image on a napkin. My brain turned the sketch into a color painting - KYSSYK! Then I went back to her lips.

KYSSYK - Color painting of a sketch